JOKES ON ME

So as soon as I mention the new boy… I get the its not you its me speech. lol

It took three weeks of him talking to me about the things we would do in the future and how he wanted to plan a trip to FL, how he wished he was with me at my neices party for me to admit that we were dating. Like I said jokes on me because as soon as I admited it, he ended it. Oh well no point in wasting time complaining about a relationship that hadn’t even really had a chance to take focus.

 

I seriously am having crap luck finding a good guy lately. sigh just more time to focus on me.

 

So I’m going to be starting a new food blog to run next to back to being jolly.

See my mom is a fab cook but she doesn’t really love to write. I do!!! But heres the fun part of the story. I moved back home a few months ago after my divorce to try and get on my feet and figure out where I want to go. As of this weekend my darling sister is moving back home too. So my 27 year old sister along with my 30 year old self are not back to living with our loving momma…. Oh the drama and stories that are sure to come out of this. So please stay tuned to me and my crazy journey on getting back to being jolly. 🙂 

The dawn of a new day…

So last time I wrote I mentioned a new job offer… well I got it.

I’ve been here a month and am loving it.  There are a few bumps with it but I know deep down they will work out in time.

 

So over the last year I constantly say I’m going to get better at this blog and well… here we are and I’m still not doing any better with it. 😦 Hopefully things will change and I’ll live up to that promise.

 

I am currently working as an HR Coordinator and loving it!!! Who knew I would love HR but I am really good at it.

Tomorrow due to this crazy weather I have the day off so I plan to update you guys with some pictures of all the dealings of my life.

But I want to take a moment to tell you I have a new boy. He’s really sweet and makes me smile with his complete dorkiness.  W is what we will call him. 🙂 Funny how I move away from Kingwood only to keep dating people who live there.  Even had the awkward pleasure of running into my ex husband and his girlfriend on our very first date.  He doesn’t feel threatened by my past and embracess knowing about that part of my life. He says when you are with someone that long its hard to tell stories without them in it.  Trust me it isn’t always easy to find people okay with this. 

 

I hope everyone is doing well and I will be back tonight to start a new blog series here on back to being jolly. One I hope you will enjoy reading. 🙂

 

 

Moving Forward

Each day is just one foot in front of the other.

Today I had a second interview with a company that I’m pretty excited about. Its a great start and am crossing my fingers that tomorrows meeting with the GM will seal the deal. I was on cloud nine till I sabotaged myself by looking at my ex’s facebook page. Honestly I just wanted to know he was okay as the last time we spoke things were not good for him at all. That was a week ago. Well it seems that as much as he said he needed to focus on the things in his life and get on the right track he meant with someone else at his side.  This is like a punch in the gut because he never made me doubt us or what we were to each other. Just that his life had crashed down and he really needed to focus on getting things back in order and fighting for custody of his son. Oh well I know I’m moving on to bigger and better things and someone who would lie or hold back as much as I have found out he did is not what I want nor need in my life. So knowing he has truly moved on makes it easier to let go and not even worry about him at all.

Now about the Job…I do not want to tell yet as I have one more interview before they offer it to me (I hope) But I am crossing my fingers that I can post tomorrow telling you all about it. If I get this one it is truly a whole new beginning. A new area of town, new industry, new people…. It’s pretty exciting for me. So all of you out there cross your fingers for me, pretty please.

 

I hope the holidays are treating you well and I promise to start talking about bad breakups and poor me very soon.

Putting me first

It has been such a long time since I’ve put myself first in any major aspect of my life, that I think I’ve forgotten how.

 

I just got out of a relationship that I do miss. I cared about the guy a lot but I made a major mistake in the relationship.  I put him before me.

Which is fine every once in a while but not all the time.  See I did the same thing in my previous marriage. :/

 

So here is to realizing that I need to put me first. That I need to do what is best for me in life and not those who can walk away from me.

So over the next week I am going to make a list of things I’m working on and things I want for me in the near future. Things I will not put on hold for the little bumps in others lives.

 

Just saying it makes me feel selfish… But sometimes I think that is okay. What do you think?

Life is never what we plan or expect…

So I have not been a good blogger in the least this year.

But that is the least of it, If I’m putting it all out there. 2013 has been the year of change some good, some bad but change none the less.

I started this blog to give me focus and as you can tell that did not happen. Maybe that is my problem I worry and put so much of my energy into what I think I need to be doing for all those around me instead of focusing on me directly.

 

So here are the facts of where I am.

30 years old, Divorced, Single, Jobless, Living at home with my mother. I’m such a winner on paper aren’t I???

 

Okay so you know I got divorced this year that’s not news at this point and I turned 30 years old which bothered me at first but after 29 I was ready to be 30. Single is new as of a little over a week 😦 Adam and I were together 5 months and then one day we just weren’t and sadly that is pretty much all I know about what happened. I cried but I refuse to let it take hold of me. He was a great guy while we were together and I know he has a lot of changes going on in his life. I like to look at it as we were there for each other to get through some tough months and now we are moving on. I will miss him deeply though.  Jobless… oh boy… Well I thought I found the perfect job, to say I had high hopes is putting it mildly. Sadly I was let down big time! The boss thought that tearing people down was a good way to get them to do a good job….I don’t know that she is even realizes how ugly she is to her employees. She told me I had a flawed personality and that I just need to accept that it is just how it is. That I need to know my limits in life and not try… this is from the woman who refused to train me as she was too busy. Sigh so after a month of being miserable I faced the facts that this was not going to be a good fit. So I resigned as I just couldn’t be called a liar (which she did call me in front of the whole office). So that was a month ago. Since when I divorced my ex husband I didn’t take anything I didn’t have a savings and that means I had to come home and suck up that I failed. I have sent my resume to over 100 people and haven’t gotten any feedback other than the position has been filled.

 

Now this is not a poor me post just a look at the truth and where I am. Can’t move on and past it without facing the facts of where you are now.

 

Good news is I have lost 30lbs this year!! Wahoo!!! I still have more to go but hey its progress.

 

Okay so There you have it I am me and I’m going to get up tomorrow and keep my head up and keep moving forward.

 

This may not have been a great post but it is a start in the right direction, and can really ask for more than that?

 

 I hope this holiday season is treating you all well.  As much as I am disappointed where I am right now, I am blessed to have people who still believe in me and are willing to let me come home when everything falls apart.

I Declare

So it’s been a bit since I’ve written on back to being jolly.  So here is a brief update .

 

I have moved to Spring  with my cousin Drew. I have met a great guy and we have been dating for the past 2 months.  We will just call him “A” so he can keep his privacy.

 

Now on to what I wanted to post today.  I have been struggling lately and so I went to the store in search of something positive to help me refocus.  I picked on the book “I Declare: 31 promises to speak over your life” by Joel Osteen

 

I do not plan to write daily on here about each of my days declarations but I will talk about some of them and I will talk about the changes I see at the end of the 31 days.

So check back to see what happens.

A work in progress…

With each new day I’m trying to focus on making a better me and just finding myself again.

 

I am a very strong person but some time during my marriage I allowed myself to fall away for the person he wanted me to be. Looking back I know it was a very slow process but it happened and I’m still in shock that I allowed it to. Anyone who knows me knows that just doesn’t sound like me. So here I am working towards finding Jolly again.

 

During my marriage I did the stereotypical weight game 😦 A lot came from depression and all the hormones I was given during fertility treatments. But I’m going to say this right now none of it is a good enough excuse for gaining 60lbs in 5 years.

So focus point number 1 is getting healthy.

So all you nutrition gurus out there send me your tips cause I need all the help I can get.

My first goal is 20lbs

I also would like to run a 5K for my 30th birthday in September, seems like a great way to ring in 30.

So I’ll be talking about the health tips I come across as well as update on my progress on getting healthy.

 

Hard thing #1

So one of the hardest things I had to learn being on my own again…

Sleeping alone

Seriously who knew that having a bed all to yourself, no one stealing the covers or pushing you to edge, would be something you would have to get used to again???

Those first few nights in my very empty apartment were really tough. Sleeping 3-4 hours was a successful night. 

Now 4 months later I still have nights were I miss just having the feeling of someone being there but sleep doesn’t evade me near as much. 

I guess the pointing out the hardest things is for the sole purpose of being able to look back and see that you can over come those moments. 

Sleeping alone was just part of the transition one that gets easier everyday. 

1-26-13 a day of change

So Jan. 26th of this year I left my husband of 5 years, and it was the hardest thing I ever did, but it was also the best.  Don’t get me wrong I loved my husband but since leaving I learned he isn’t the man I thought he was or the man I loved anymore. But that is another post entirely.  See my ex told me he loved me but at the same time always told me all the things I did wrong in our relationship. How unhappy he was and that he didn’t know if he wanted to be married to me. Honestly he always back peddled after saying these things as he just didn’t know how to communicate well and let it go. But when he did it again on his mothers birthday before we were supposed to go to dinner with them I just said okay. I didn’t beg him to think about it or question it. I knew I could no longer stay with a man who didn’t have faith in us or me. So I packed my stuff and left and I never went back. It’s not easy leaving the safety of your home, family, job all of these things I have lost during this process. See I lost my family ( my husband, dogs and inlaws) and my job as we owned our own business. So leaving him was me starting life all over again at 30.