Moving Forward

Each day is just one foot in front of the other.

Today I had a second interview with a company that I’m pretty excited about. Its a great start and am crossing my fingers that tomorrows meeting with the GM will seal the deal. I was on cloud nine till I sabotaged myself by looking at my ex’s facebook page. Honestly I just wanted to know he was okay as the last time we spoke things were not good for him at all. That was a week ago. Well it seems that as much as he said he needed to focus on the things in his life and get on the right track he meant with someone else at his side.  This is like a punch in the gut because he never made me doubt us or what we were to each other. Just that his life had crashed down and he really needed to focus on getting things back in order and fighting for custody of his son. Oh well I know I’m moving on to bigger and better things and someone who would lie or hold back as much as I have found out he did is not what I want nor need in my life. So knowing he has truly moved on makes it easier to let go and not even worry about him at all.

Now about the Job…I do not want to tell yet as I have one more interview before they offer it to me (I hope) But I am crossing my fingers that I can post tomorrow telling you all about it. If I get this one it is truly a whole new beginning. A new area of town, new industry, new people…. It’s pretty exciting for me. So all of you out there cross your fingers for me, pretty please.

 

I hope the holidays are treating you well and I promise to start talking about bad breakups and poor me very soon.

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Putting me first

It has been such a long time since I’ve put myself first in any major aspect of my life, that I think I’ve forgotten how.

 

I just got out of a relationship that I do miss. I cared about the guy a lot but I made a major mistake in the relationship.  I put him before me.

Which is fine every once in a while but not all the time.  See I did the same thing in my previous marriage. :/

 

So here is to realizing that I need to put me first. That I need to do what is best for me in life and not those who can walk away from me.

So over the next week I am going to make a list of things I’m working on and things I want for me in the near future. Things I will not put on hold for the little bumps in others lives.

 

Just saying it makes me feel selfish… But sometimes I think that is okay. What do you think?

Life is never what we plan or expect…

So I have not been a good blogger in the least this year.

But that is the least of it, If I’m putting it all out there. 2013 has been the year of change some good, some bad but change none the less.

I started this blog to give me focus and as you can tell that did not happen. Maybe that is my problem I worry and put so much of my energy into what I think I need to be doing for all those around me instead of focusing on me directly.

 

So here are the facts of where I am.

30 years old, Divorced, Single, Jobless, Living at home with my mother. I’m such a winner on paper aren’t I???

 

Okay so you know I got divorced this year that’s not news at this point and I turned 30 years old which bothered me at first but after 29 I was ready to be 30. Single is new as of a little over a week 😦 Adam and I were together 5 months and then one day we just weren’t and sadly that is pretty much all I know about what happened. I cried but I refuse to let it take hold of me. He was a great guy while we were together and I know he has a lot of changes going on in his life. I like to look at it as we were there for each other to get through some tough months and now we are moving on. I will miss him deeply though.  Jobless… oh boy… Well I thought I found the perfect job, to say I had high hopes is putting it mildly. Sadly I was let down big time! The boss thought that tearing people down was a good way to get them to do a good job….I don’t know that she is even realizes how ugly she is to her employees. She told me I had a flawed personality and that I just need to accept that it is just how it is. That I need to know my limits in life and not try… this is from the woman who refused to train me as she was too busy. Sigh so after a month of being miserable I faced the facts that this was not going to be a good fit. So I resigned as I just couldn’t be called a liar (which she did call me in front of the whole office). So that was a month ago. Since when I divorced my ex husband I didn’t take anything I didn’t have a savings and that means I had to come home and suck up that I failed. I have sent my resume to over 100 people and haven’t gotten any feedback other than the position has been filled.

 

Now this is not a poor me post just a look at the truth and where I am. Can’t move on and past it without facing the facts of where you are now.

 

Good news is I have lost 30lbs this year!! Wahoo!!! I still have more to go but hey its progress.

 

Okay so There you have it I am me and I’m going to get up tomorrow and keep my head up and keep moving forward.

 

This may not have been a great post but it is a start in the right direction, and can really ask for more than that?

 

 I hope this holiday season is treating you all well.  As much as I am disappointed where I am right now, I am blessed to have people who still believe in me and are willing to let me come home when everything falls apart.