With each new day I’m trying to focus on making a better me and just finding myself again.
I am a very strong person but some time during my marriage I allowed myself to fall away for the person he wanted me to be. Looking back I know it was a very slow process but it happened and I’m still in shock that I allowed it to. Anyone who knows me knows that just doesn’t sound like me. So here I am working towards finding Jolly again.
During my marriage I did the stereotypical weight game 😦 A lot came from depression and all the hormones I was given during fertility treatments. But I’m going to say this right now none of it is a good enough excuse for gaining 60lbs in 5 years.
So focus point number 1 is getting healthy.
So all you nutrition gurus out there send me your tips cause I need all the help I can get.
My first goal is 20lbs
I also would like to run a 5K for my 30th birthday in September, seems like a great way to ring in 30.
So I’ll be talking about the health tips I come across as well as update on my progress on getting healthy.
So one of the hardest things I had to learn being on my own again…
Seriously who knew that having a bed all to yourself, no one stealing the covers or pushing you to edge, would be something you would have to get used to again???
Those first few nights in my very empty apartment were really tough. Sleeping 3-4 hours was a successful night.
Now 4 months later I still have nights were I miss just having the feeling of someone being there but sleep doesn’t evade me near as much.
I guess the pointing out the hardest things is for the sole purpose of being able to look back and see that you can over come those moments.
Sleeping alone was just part of the transition one that gets easier everyday.
So Jan. 26th of this year I left my husband of 5 years, and it was the hardest thing I ever did, but it was also the best. Don’t get me wrong I loved my husband but since leaving I learned he isn’t the man I thought he was or the man I loved anymore. But that is another post entirely. See my ex told me he loved me but at the same time always told me all the things I did wrong in our relationship. How unhappy he was and that he didn’t know if he wanted to be married to me. Honestly he always back peddled after saying these things as he just didn’t know how to communicate well and let it go. But when he did it again on his mothers birthday before we were supposed to go to dinner with them I just said okay. I didn’t beg him to think about it or question it. I knew I could no longer stay with a man who didn’t have faith in us or me. So I packed my stuff and left and I never went back. It’s not easy leaving the safety of your home, family, job all of these things I have lost during this process. See I lost my family ( my husband, dogs and inlaws) and my job as we owned our own business. So leaving him was me starting life all over again at 30.